Online Dating Advice For Seniors
Online dating is absolutely a must for any single man or woman over 50. Over the years, the industry has adapted to the needs of senior singles. Online dating is no longer just for singles in their 20s, 30s, and 40s.
- Online Dating Advice For Seniors Without
- Online Dating Advice For Seniors 2020
- Over 70 Senior Dating Advice
- How Do Seniors Date
- Online Dating Advice For Seniors Near Me
Online Dating Advice For Seniors Without
You have a variety of dating sites and apps to choose from and a nearly endless number of people to meet. However, you’ll want to know a few things before jumping in head first. Here are 10 tips for online dating if you’re 50 or older.
1. Know Which Dating Site to Choose
If you want to have the most efficient and exciting online dating experience, I suggest you vet a few sites and apps to see if they meet your needs before deciding on one or two to join. Take a few minutes to see which platforms are available in your area, and check out the profiles on the homepage to see if the singles seem like they’re your type.
- Another misconception about senior dating website over 60 is that you do not find long-lasting relationships over the internet. But this statement is not true; you can easily find thousands of successful love stories of seniors who met on the online senior dating website over 60. Tips for Successful Dating Over 60.
- Best Senior Dating Sites of 2021. Below are the best senior dating sites and apps around, according to reviews by our top relationship experts. Whether you're over 50, 60, or older, these websites will help you connect with other single seniors near you.
Take note if the users seem to be active. You want to join sites and apps that have users who will engage with you. You don’t want to have to deal with profiles that have been abandoned by their creators.
May 14, 2018 Online Dating Tips for Seniors. Get virtually comfortable. Most 50+ singles I work with are hesitant to put themselves out there digitally. When you join a new site, spend some. Chivalry rules shift. Don’t forget to site hop.
You have a variety of senior dating sites and apps to choose from, so you want to make sure you sign up for the right platform.
Most mainstream dating sites and apps, like Match and Elite Singles, can cater to over-50 singles, but I also recommend choosing a niche dating site or app (i.e. a site that’s specifically for Christian singles). You want to mix things up. The point of online dating is to meet as many people as you can. If you find that you don’t like a site or app, you can cancel the membership and try a new platform. No harm; no foul.
2. Think About Your Dating Goals
Before you rapidly post a profile, think about your dating goals and what you want to say in your profile. The main reason you want to prepare is because many dating sites and apps will prominently feature your profile on the homepage in some manner because it’s brand new. You don’t want to waste that advantage with a lackluster profile.
Do you want a relationship? Do you want to make friends? Do you want a casual relationship? The answers to these questions will help determine how you go about online dating.
Make sure you have a collection of high-quality and varied photos (e.g., photos of your face, body, and activities you enjoy participating in). People who’ve read my book know I insist on using a professional photographer at least for your main profile photo. Of course, if you’re not serious about finding a relationship and only want to test the waters, informal photos are just fine. Just know that leading with those photos can send a message to your fellow singles that you’re not interested in finding love. Don’t be surprised if the messages you get are from non-relationship seeking singles.
3. Write an Enticing Profile
When writing your profile, aim for a few paragraphs (about 200 to 300 words). Too short and your profile just disappears into a sea of vague descriptions. If your profile is too long (longer than 500 words), it starts to sound like a college application essay, and you’ll lose people’s interest. Within this text, you’ll want to talk about your personality as well as at least three of your favorite hobbies.
You want to write a profile that expresses who you are and makes people want to reach out.
Specifically for gentlemen, please refrain from assuming that women put an emphasis on physical attraction before emotional attraction the way most men do. Don’t just post three sentences and a few photos with the phrase “If you’re interested, hit me up.” Yes, women can care more about the initial physical attraction. However, real attraction for women often starts with who a man is (i.e. his interests and how she thinks he might treat her).
Weave in some examples of how you’ll treat her: “I’m still a bit of an old-school gentleman. You won’t have to wait. I always get the door for a lady.” Little tidbits like that.
4. Embrace Your Age
If you’ve turned 50 and are looking for love, I recommend that you refrain from seeking out younger singles. That includes not joining dating sites and apps that are geared toward men and women in their 20s and 30s (i.e. Bumble). I often hear single men who are 50 complain that they’re not finding quality single women over 45. When I press a little, I discover they’re still looking for love on dating apps geared toward women more than 10 years younger than they are.
If you’re really looking for love, try to approach dating differently than you did in your 20s.
Delete those profiles, and get with the program. If you really want marriage or a life partner with love at the core, then use the dating sites and singles apps for your age demographic. If you’re 53 years old or older and some of your dates are still in their mid-to-late 40s, you might need to join both Match and OurTime.
5. Be Proactive
Since the drive to procreate often diminishes after people get older, the dating process can be slower than when you were 28 and looking for someone with whom to have children. The pace is different now, so try not to compare your dating pursuits to what they were like when you were younger.
Take matters into your own hands — send the first message and ask for the first date.
You will likely need to work the online dating scene for a year or so to bear the fruit you seek of a long-term relationship. Plan accordingly. Sure, most of us know an amazing senior couple who met during a Free Communication Weekend on eharmony and married six months later, but they’re a rarity. Don’t put that pressure on yourself.
This does mean, however, that you need to make more of an effort to get things moving, keep things going, and get to the first date. Don’t wait for someone to message you — try to make the first move yourself.
6. Keep Your Geographical Search to a Reasonable Distance
Most of us have heard stories of senior singles finding each other from across the country or across the world, but those are the exception. There can be plenty of wonderful people to meet within a more manageable distance.
For example, if you’re based in San Francisco, you can expand your search to include Sacramento, Redding, Gilroy, and the Monterrey area. If business or friends and family take you to Southern California with any regularity, then expand your search to that area, too. Ditto to SoCal residents who fly up to Northern California at least once a quarter. A regular commuter flight is almost like driving there.
Consider if you’re willing to move for a romantic partner. If you’re not, try to keep your search parameters realistic.
Just keep things realistic. It’s best to keep your search to something where the two of you could easily drive to meet each other every weekend. Midweek dates might be more challenging, and you may have to meet halfway for the first few months of dating. Unless you’re fine with moving hundreds of miles away, don’t jump too quickly to searching beyond a reasonable drive for you. How will you realistically date someone? Long-distance relationships can work, but I don’t recommend starting there.
7. Keep the Conversation Moving
Not everyone is great at making small talk, especially via emails and texts. Some people can barely come up with a few questions to break the ice in the first message. What can be helpful is really taking the time to read someone’s profile, pick up on his or her interests, and inquire further. This keeps the message exchange moving.
Don’t just share information about yourself; ask your online matches about their personality, interests, work, and family.
This is another reason to keep your dating bio shorter than a college entrance essay. You need to leave something for potential dates to ask you about. Drop some conversation-starting breadcrumbs in the body text of your profile, which will prompt potential dates to send you messages and ask you questions. This is especially helpful if you’re nervous about sending the first message.
8. Don’t Get Stuck in a Messaging Blackhole
It’s often around the third or fourth message that people can get caught in the doldrums. If you don’t keep asking questions and sharing some information about yourself, then your potential date doesn’t have a reason to respond. Don’t just answer your potential date’s questions in your message without giving him or her a reason to respond.
Messaging is fun, but you want to get to the first date so you can see if there’s chemistry.
If you haven’t gotten a response from a match in a day or two, revisit his or her profile and find two things you could inquire about. “Hi, Jon! I see you like reading mysteries. Who are your two favorite authors, and what do you like most about their books?” See, you asked about something he really enjoys, and he’s more likely to respond.
9. Get to the First Date
I hear from both senior men and women that they don’t want to waste their time and money on dates that don’t result in lasting love. Sometimes they spend too much time in the messaging phase trying to weed out people they wouldn’t marry. I’ve also heard of singles having multiple phone conversations before meeting for the first coffee or lunch date.
For goodness sake’s, it’s a date. It’s coffee and a pastry. It’s fizzy water and an appetizer. It’s not dinner for two overlooking the Seine River for five hours. You two are still complete strangers. I say please don’t waste your time bonding over the phone with someone with whom you may have absolutely no in-person chemistry. Exchange a handful of messages demonstrating interest and the ability to engage in small talk, and then meet up.
I recommend setting up the first date after a few days of messaging.
I also recommend waiting to Google your date and search for their social media profiles until after about three dates when it’s clear that you both are interested in each other or not. Remember to keep the goal of online dating in mind: to meet a number of lovely people you’re not readily meeting with your current lifestyle. Don’t weed potential dates out so much that you’re not actively dating.
Do aim to get to the first date, and remember that, by meeting more interesting, new people, you’re keeping your social muscles toned. Plus, dates who are great people but just not a match for you can be woven into your extended social circle.
Online Dating Advice For Seniors 2020
10. Go for Coffee or Lunch, Not Dinner
Unlike what I recommend to singles under 50, I suggest that you meet your first dates for coffee or lunch, not drinks after work. It can take the pressure off you two.
Maybe you meet and you find that there just aren’t any sparks. That really is the goal of the first date. It’s just to vet for in-person chemistry before you two give your hearts away on a fantasy — only to be surprised when you realize that you don’t curl each other’s toes. Remember, it’s OK to make new friends.
Going for a quick coffee and pastry is way less intimidating that going for a two-hour dinner.
Keep breaking the ice with new people online, and mix in some different dating sites and apps to keep things varied and moving. Keep messaging and small talking with people, and get to the first date. Then choose to date them, weave them into your social circle, or bless them on their way. It’s the law of physics applied. If you remain passive, you’ll stay exactly where you are. Once you get things moving, then you’ll be dating and well on your way to finding love.
Take Control of Your Online Dating Life
Taking the proactive approach in your dating life is a whole lot more fun. You’ll get out of the house and have a terrific social life while looking for a lifelong love. When you’re enjoying life, smiling, and happy, you’re magnetically attractive wherever you go. With that kind of inner and outer sparkle, you’ll be attracting your life partner sooner than you think.
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It’s a myth that men and women over 60 are no longer interested in physical intimacy and relationships.
Sure, they may experience some different dating challenges than they did when they were younger, but every year countless singles over 60 seek love, find it, and get married. You can, too.
Read on to discover how to navigate this new chapter of your life.
1. Join a Senior Dating Site
The number one venue where you can easily find other attractive and eligible singles in their 60s is a senior dating site. Everyone else on the site is in your age demographic and, by creating a profile, has indicated their interest in dating and relationships.
Here are two of my favorite options:
Our expert ratings are based on factors such as popularity, usability, value, and success rate of each site.
Relationships:Friends, Dates, and Relationships
Match System:Browse by zip, age, appearance, more
Our Experts Say:“Match.com has more 'over 50' members any other dating site, and it has a simple matching process that is responsible for millions of romantic connections...” Full Review»
Browse Free:View Photos Now
User Base | Gender Ratio | Popularity (Visits/Mo.) | |
All Singles* | 49%* 51%* | 39.7 Million* | Try Match.com FREE |
Match is one of the most established names in the online and mobile dating space, and you can create a free profile within five minutes. It’s also free to browse for matches, receive matches based on the site’s algorithm, send flirts, and finding listings for local Match events.
Our expert ratings are based on factors such as popularity, usability, value, and success rate of each site.
Relationships:Serious Relationships
Match System:Search, Receive Partner Suggestions
Our Experts Say:“EliteSingles caters to highly educated single men and women, and it uses an advanced Fraud Detection System to make sure everyone is who they say they are...” Full Review»
Browse Free:View Photos Now
User Base | Gender Ratio | Popularity (Visits/Mo.) | |
All Singles* | 44%* 56%* | 2 Million* | Browse Profiles Free |
Over 70 Senior Dating Advice
EliteSingles is great for seniors who value education as almost 100% of its members have earned a bachelor’s, master’s, and/or doctorate degree. You also shouldn’t have any problem finding someone for a relationship on EliteSingles because almost 100% of its members are commitment-oriented.
The thing I love most about dating sites is that they aren’t anything like meeting people at bars, which often cater to a much younger crowd. Senior dating sites provide a perfect replacement for that need in your life.
2. Consider Having a Makeover
Once you get to be over 45, every time you re-enter the dating world, whether it’s after a breakup, divorce, or death of a spouse, you should consider sprucing up your image.
Revamping your image will give you a confidence boost.
If you need some inspiration, do a web search on some of your favorite mature celebrities. Or go to the makeup or personal care counter at your favorite department store and ask for help. Or hire a personal shopper who can do all the work for you. Or ask a family member or friend to go shopping with you or rummage through your closet with a discerning eye. You get the idea.
Your new image will put a smile on your face, and that will help you be your most confident self.
3. Attend Local Events, Groups, Classes & Activities
One of the inadvertent benefits of working is you’re actively interacting with people every day. For example, that place you get your coffee en route to the office gives you the opportunity to meet new people and interact with them.
Think senior workout groups, cooking classes, and dances.
Typically, by the time you’re in your 60s, you’re retired, semi-retired, or rapidly winding down your full-time job. You need to replace some of that interaction. Local events are great for that, and you can find them by checking bulletin boards or visiting Meetup.com, Eventbrite, or Facebook Events.
4. Figure Out Your Dating Pace
Some senior singles may want to go on dates every week, while some may prefer to go on dates every other week. Figure out what works best for you and your lifestyle.
I recommend going on numerous dates and dating more than one person at a time until you’ve got a routine down that you’re comfortable with.
5. Stay Motivated
Whatever your goal may be, whether it’s sex, friendship, personal growth, companionship, dates, or love, you need to make some concerted efforts to achieve that goal. Let your goal be your driving force.
Figure out what you want out of dating, and reflect on that every week to make it happen.
Write down your goal (or goals) in a journal and reflect on it weekly. As you do so, you’ll fuel your self-motivation.
6. Turn to Your Friends & Family for Support
Identify those friends and family members who will be supportive and expectant of weekly dating updates from you. Share your dating news with them only. Avoid those who always say things like “It’s hard to find love at your age, “All the good women are taken,” etc.
Your friends and family are there to listen and help you.
Until you’re in a relationship and calling each other boyfriend or girlfriend, I recommend keeping things under wraps confiding only with your circle of trust.
If you can’t think of anyone like this in your life, working with a coach who specializes in senior dating, like myself, can really help. You have someone who is rooting for you and in your corner; someone to email and share your ups and downs and challenges with.
7. Keep With Traditional Dating Behavior
Leaning back on gentlemanly and ladylike behavior will always stand you in good stead when you’re dating in your 60s. The etiquette of your first handful of dates with any new potential mate should be a bit traditional.
A first date should be something quick and casual like going for coffee, drinks, or drinks and appetizers, and you two should meet at the chosen venue. For the second date, the man should pick the woman up at her place, and he should pick up the tab.
Ladies, allow the man to suggest a few places to meet that fit his budget. Don’t suggest meeting at a bar for cocktails that start at $20 each. Guys, it’s OK to suggest an interesting venue with some conversation-prompting ambiance. Maybe not the dive bar, but the cool, locally owned Italian restaurant could be good.
How Do Seniors Date
8. Do the Personal Growth Work
After 60, you’ve likely been through a divorce or two, or you’re widowed like I am. Before you fully launch yourself into the world of dating, please do some personal growth work with a good therapist. Aim for working with him or her for three to six months just to exfoliate any of the emotional scars and learn some new healthy communication strategies and relationship skills.
You could also read books about personal growth or attend some workshops and seminars.
You don’t have to have a diploma in dating and relationships, but starting the personal growth work will help you attract people into your life.
9. Be Prepared to Openly Talk About Intimacy
The expectations and timing for intimacy and sex are different when you’re over 60. I’ve found that both senior men and women prefer waiting a bit longer. However, around the fourth date, the subject will probably come up.
If you’re having any issues, which most of us do when we’re over 60, don’t be embarrassed to talk about it.
Men, if you’re having some erectile dysfunction issues, you may want to at least start the conversation with your primary care physician and get a prescription prepared. Or you can go the holistic route and ask the folks in the supplements section of your health food store what they would recommend.
Online Dating Advice For Seniors Near Me
Ladies, now is not the time to look at yourself naked in the mirror and start tearing apart how you look. When you’re in bed with your man, you will be the only lady there, and he will be delighted.
Dating in Your 60s Does Take Effort, But It’s Worth It
Many things are different when you’re dating in your 60s. It does require a strategic approach and some concerted effort, but remember it’s worth it — and you’re worth it. Sharing all of you with another person is worth it. If you want to find love, you can. I’m cheering you on. You can do it. Let your heart be your compass!
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DatingAdvice.com is a free online resource that offers valuable content and comparison services to users. To keep this resource 100% free, we receive compensation from many of the offers listed on the site. Along with key review factors, this compensation may impact how and where products appear across the site (including, for example, the order in which they appear). DatingAdvice.com does not include the entire universe of available offers. Editorial opinions expressed on the site are strictly our own and are not provided, endorsed, or approved by advertisers.
Our Editorial Review Policy
Our site is committed to publishing independent, accurate content guided by strict editorial guidelines. Before articles and reviews are published on our site, they undergo a thorough review process performed by a team of independent editors and subject-matter experts to ensure the content’s accuracy, timeliness, and impartiality. Our editorial team is separate and independent of our site’s advertisers, and the opinions they express on our site are their own. To read more about our team members and their editorial backgrounds, please visit our site’s About page.