• “Hey, Thanks for your message. Unfortunately, I’m not interested. Good luck out there.” “I appreciate the time you took with your message, but I am not interested. Have a great day.” “That was a kind message, but I’m just not interested. Thanks.” Short and to the pointno explanationnothing mean.
• Focusing on your own, be honest, be direct. If you don’t want to talk, have the respect to tell the person that you're not interested, that you're busy or dating someone, but don't ghost them. Ghosting means showing that you are not confident, or being disrespectful.
• Reader question #49: How do you say “not interested” to dating site messagers? After your most excellent response to my last question, thought I’d ask you something slightly easier this time! It concerns on-line dating etiquette. I posted an ad in a local singles group saying that if people were interested then they should message me.
• Ways To Say Hi In A Text Message Yes, sending the right opening message should take some thought, but it doesn't have to be hard. Remember, the point of what you're doing-you're not interviewing for a job.

Blame it on the “spark.”

Jun 02, 2016 When it comes to online dating etiquette, it’s good to remember the golden rule—treat others the way you’d like to be treated. It’s not good to leave people hanging because you’re afraid to say you’re not interested. You may be surprised how much people appreciate it, and how better you feel.

Not all first dates are good. In fact, in my experience, most are not. It can be hard to find someone you really connect with, and it's nobody’s fault if you just don't feel the chemistry on the first date. If you’re looking for tips on polite rejection texts to send after a first date, or even a few rejection text message examples, I’ve got you covered.

If you want to know how to let someone down easy, consider sending them a text telling them you don't want to go out — that way, you're not leaving anyone hanging. If someone offended you or behaved badly on a first date, it's totally OK to call them out in the rejection text. (It's also totally OK not to — it's a lot of emotional labor, and you don't have to educate every person you go on a first date with.) However, if you're looking to know how to let someone down easy over text, there are plenty of ways to make rejection feel kinder.

Here are a dozen polite ways to let someone down easy after a first date.

You don't have to give specifics. If they seem like they want a long-term partner, and you can't imagine a second date with them, then you are in different places in your lives, and saying so is a polite way to tell them you're not interested.

This is a cliché line, but if you mean it, it can be a kind thing to say. Telling someone you'd like to be friends means you think they're interesting and cool, and even if the romantic energy isn't there, you'd like to continue getting to know them.

Ghosting may be easier than sending someone a rejection text, but if you really liked and respected them, it's worth the extra effort not to just leave them hanging.

Letting someone down easy after a first date isn't fun, but it doesn't have to be super stressful, either. For all you know, they feel the same way and they're relieved you ended it. Even if they don't, they deserve to be with someone who is interested in dating them, so ending things kindly can be the most compassionate move because it allows them to move on. If you met a nice person you don't want to continue dating, consider one of these 12 texts to let them know politely.

This article was co-authored by Imad Jbara and by wikiHow staff writer, Danielle Blinka, MA, MPA. Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth.
This article has been viewed 462,175 times.

One of the hardest parts of dating is telling someone you don’t want to go out with them. Whether they’re asking for the first time or you’ve shared a few dates, you likely feel uncomfortable telling them you aren't interested. However, you have a right to do what’s best for you, so be honest and direct about how you feel.

Steps

Method 1 of 2:

Rejecting a Date

1. 1
   Tell them you appreciate their offer or attention. This can take some of the sting out of the rejection. You don’t need to give them an elaborate thank you. A single sentence is enough to convey that you’re appreciative of the thought.^[1]
2. 2
   Give them an honest and clear rejection. It may be tempting to be vague about how you feel in order to spare their feelings, but this will be worse in the long-run. In addition to leading them on, you’ll likely find yourself having to reject them again in the future.^[2]

   • Instead of saying, “I’m sorry, I’m not interested,” just say, “I’m not interested in dinner, but I really appreciate the offer.”
3. 4
   Don’t try to force them to be friends with you. If someone you're already friends with has developed feelings for you, it's difficult to let go of that friendship. Sometimes you genuinely want to be friends with someone you're not interested in dating. However, maintaining a friendship can be cruel to them. Let them decide what’s best for their life, just as you get to decide what’s best for you.^[4]
4. 5
   Save excuses for when you’re rejecting a stranger. It’s best to avoid giving someone excuses, but they can be useful if the person is someone you just met. However, using an excuse opens you up to getting caught in a lie. If you’re going to use an excuse, choose one that doesn’t leave room for arguing, and exit the conversation as soon as you give it.^[5]

   • For example, you might not feel attracted to the person physically. It’s not kind to tell them all of the things you don’t like about them. Instead, you might practice saying, “I just don’t feel any chemistry,” or “That spark is missing.”
   • Similarly, you might feel like they talk too much. In this case, you could say, “I feel like we don’t communicate the same way.”
5. 2
   Start the conversation by giving them a compliment. Saying something nice can ease the pain of the rejection, but don’t spend too much time telling them how great they are. Otherwise, they may question why you don’t want to continue seeing them. Also, your words might seem hollow when you reject them after telling them how wonderful you think they are.^[7]

   • For instance, you could say, “Thank you for these past few dates. I’ve enjoyed getting to know you.”
6. 4
   Tell them things aren’t working for you. It’s up to you if you want to give specific things that aren’t working for you. If you just didn’t click with the person, you might simply state that. However, if you’ve gone on a couple of dates, it might be helpful to give them a more specific reason.^[9]
7. 5
   Listen to them if they don’t agree with you, but stand your ground. They may not feel the same way as you do, and that’s okay. It’s nice to let them share their thoughts on the issue, but don’t agree to keep dating them if that’s not what you want. Instead, acknowledge how they feel but restate your intention to break things off.^[10]

   • In some cases, you might feel like telling them why you’re breaking up with them will help them improve themself. However, keep in mind that it isn’t your place to tell someone who they should be. Additionally, everyone has different preferences, so what annoys you might be attractive to someone else.
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Community Q&A

• How do you reject someone nicely?

  Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth.

  Dating Coach

  Focusing on your own, be honest, be direct. If you don’t want to talk, have the respect to tell the person that you're not interested, that you're busy or dating someone, but don't ghost them. Ghosting means showing that you are not confident, or being disrespectful.
• What if a guy asks me out three times and I say no? After the third time, is it right to decide not to talk to him?

  wikiHow Staff Editor
  Staff Answer

  This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.

  Staff Answer

  If he is constantly asking you out, then it might be best for you to limit your contact with him. He isn't respecting your decisions, which isn't okay. Listen to your intuition. If you think you should stop talking to him, then that's likely the best decision for you.
• My friend thinks I have a crush on her, but I don't. What do I do? By the way I'm 13, so it can get really awkward at this age.

  wikiHow Staff Editor
  Staff Answer

  This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.

  Staff Answer

  It's best to talk to your friend about how you really feel. Say, 'We are really great as friends, and I would never want to risk our friendship. I don't want to hurt your feelings because I care about you, but I'm not interested in being more than friends.'
• What if saying no really upsets them?

  wikiHow Staff Editor
  Staff Answer

  This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.

  Staff Answer

  It's normal for people to be upset when they feel rejected by someone, but rejection is unavoidable sometimes. You don't owe anyone your attention or a relationship. If they are trying to make you feel bad, then they aren't being fair to you.
• The guy I am NOT interested in is coming to visit my town from far away, and he has already spent all the travel money. How should I deal with this?

  wikiHow Staff Editor
  Staff Answer

  This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.

  Staff Answer

  First, it's probably best that you not meet up with this person when they're in town, as they aren't respecting your wishes. Additionally, talk to your friends and family to let them know what's going on so that you have supports in place for when he's in town. You might also want to let him know that you plan on giving him his space while he's in town, as you're not interested in him that way. Say, 'I hope you have a great trip, but I have other plans that week. I'm not interested in meeting up with you.' If he tries to pressure you into meeting or doing something you don't want, tell someone who can help you. You do not owe him anything.
• How do I tell my guy friend that I'm in a relationship?

  wikiHow Staff Editor
  Staff Answer

  This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.

  Staff Answer

  It's best to be direct with him. Say, 'I want to tell you about the guy I've been seeing.' You could also start the conversation with something like, 'I met a really nice guy at a party, and we've been on a few dates.'
• How do I tell someone not to visit?

  wikiHow Staff Editor
  Staff Answer

  This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.

  Staff Answer

  Be direct in telling them how you feel. Say, 'I appreciate that you're willing to come here, but I don't want to meet up with you.' If they decide to come anyway, don't agree to go see them, as they're not being fair to you.
• Will my crush ever leave me alone?

  wikiHow Staff Editor
  Staff Answer

  This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.

  Staff Answer

  If you've told him you aren't interested but he keeps pursuing you, ask him to leave you alone. Say, 'I've already told you 'no,' so please stop asking.' If he still keeps making you uncomfortable, tell someone you can trust. For example, at school, you might tell your teacher or a counselor.

Video.

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Tips

• Being direct about your feelings can be scary, but lying or avoiding the other person rarely works. In most cases, that results in you having to reject them over and over again, which is unpleasant for both of you.
  Thanks!
• Don’t gossip about the person or publicize your rejection of them.
  Thanks!
• Consider the other person’s feelings when deciding how to move forward after you let them know you’re not interested. Although you may really want to be friends, this might not be what’s best for them, especially if it makes them hold out hope that you’ll change your mind.
  Thanks!
• Never ghost someone you’ve already made plans with. If you change your mind about wanting to date them, just tell them the truth.
  Thanks!

Warnings

• Breaking up is always a hard, painful decision. However, it’s not kind to try to push the other person to breakup with you so that you don’t have to do it.
  Thanks!

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References

1. ↑https://verilymag.com/2015/10/relationships-dating-saying-no-rejecting-a-guy
2. ↑https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/break-up.html
3. ↑https://verilymag.com/2015/10/relationships-dating-saying-no-rejecting-a-guy
4. ↑https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/break-up.html
5. ↑https://www.glamour.com/story/guy-approved-ways-to-turn-down
6. ↑https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/break-up.html
7. ↑https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/can-tell-someone-youre-not-interested-without-hurting-feelings-lbkr/
8. ↑https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/can-tell-someone-youre-not-interested-without-hurting-feelings-lbkr/
9. ↑https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/can-tell-someone-youre-not-interested-without-hurting-feelings-lbkr/

10. ↑https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/can-tell-someone-youre-not-interested-without-hurting-feelings-lbkr/
11. ↑https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/can-tell-someone-youre-not-interested-without-hurting-feelings-lbkr/

About This Article

To tell someone you’re not interested in a date, explain to them that you appreciate the offer, which can help take some of the sting out of a rejection. For example, try saying something like, “That’s a nice offer.” When you reject an offer, do so clearly by saying something like, “That’s not something I’m interested in,” since you don’t want to lead someone on by being vague about your feelings. You should also avoid apologizing for turning them down, since you don’t need to feel sorry for your feelings. After you’ve rejected someone’s offer, let them decide whether they want to stay friends, which may be difficult for them. Try telling them something like, “I hope we can still be friends, but I understand if you need your space.” For tips on how to tell someone you're not interested after you’ve been on a few dates, keep reading!

What To Say In A Message When Not Interested On Dating Sites

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• 'I have been dealing with a crusher for a while. I think the best way now is to be firm with her and tell her to

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What To Say In Online Dating Message Examples